When I tell people I grew up in India but went to college in Singapore, the natural question that follows is why. People also ask why I chose to study computer science (CS) in college, especially if they know I was a physics nerd in high school. The answer to both questions is the same long story, and this is the unabridged version. I’ve also added reflections that the hindsight of 5 years has made possible. If nothing else, the story highlights how no matter how hard you try, important things in your life are out of your control, and that’s ok :)

Story

Until 9th grade, I wasn’t particularly interested in academics. That changed when I discovered physics. I’d always been a curious person, and physics seemed like a subject dedicated to asking and answering questions. I loved how I could derive everything from first principles, and how I could see the results all around me. By the start of 11th grade, I’d decided that I’d study physics in college.

I was also interested in a wide variety of subjects. For instance, besides physics and math, I enjoyed history and literature, and was curious about economics and philosophy. I wanted to be able to take classes outside my major in college. However, the only place I knew¹ that offered such flexibility was the US, and US colleges were prohibitively expensive. The only way I could go without taking on debt was with a scholarship/financial aid, and so that became my target.

Meanwhile, I’d decided that if I couldn’t study in the US, I’d study in India. I narrowed down the Indian Institute of Science (IISc) and the Indian Institute of Technology (IITs) as places where I could study physics or engineering physics respectively. Both colleges had entrance examinations, which tested physics, chemistry, and mathematics at a level beyond what was taught in school. As a result, I joined a coaching institute² in 11th grade, and spent my weekends for the next two years taking advanced classes. In addition to exam prep, I viewed the classes as a way of getting better at physics and math, and I figured that even if I ended up in the US, I’d have the badge of honour of acing what I thought were some of the hardest examinations in the country.

Fast forward two years, to March 31st 2015. In my hubris, I’d applied to a few top³ US colleges, with no safeties. I’d been rejected from one and waitlisted from another, and was to hear from the rest the following day. Furthermore, I’d messed up IISc’s entrance test,⁴ and the IIT exams were around the corner. It hit me that I might not get into any of the US colleges I’d applied to, which would mean an end to my dreams of a college experience where I could take classes outside my major. I was panicking.

That morning, my parents brought up an idea that they had, by that point, been floating for a few days: that of applying to colleges in Singapore. They’d heard good things about Singapore from my cousin who’d studied there, education there was significantly cheaper than in the US,⁵ and that day was the eve of the application deadline. I was opposed to the idea. I barely knew anyone who’d studied there, and for some inexplicable reason, the idea of studying in Singapore didn’t appeal to me. Nevertheless, I relented, noting that there was no harm in applying. I decided to apply to the National University of Singapore (NUS) and the Nanyang Technological University (NTU), both of which I’d heard good things about. I hastily filled up the application forms, and eventually found myself staring at a page where I had to pick a major.

In the five minutes I spent on that page, a lot went on in my head: Firstly, I hadn’t heard much about either college’s physics program, and so I decided (without any background research) that I wasn’t going to pick physics in that application. Funnily enough, I figured it didn’t matter since I probably wasn’t going there anyway. Secondly, in India, most boys study engineering in college, mostly due to a combination of societal pressure, herd mentality, and a lack of clarity about what they like. As a rebel, I didn’t want to conform to the stereotype,⁶ and was repulsed by the idea of studying something I knew nothing about. I crossed out anything with the word engineering. Thirdly, I wanted to do something STEM-y, but not chemistry or biology, and math was too abstract. Finally, I noticed a major called computer science, which was different from another major they had called computer engineering. I’d done a little programming in school, though I’d never developed much interest since it was poorly taught. I did however, recall one topic in 11th grade (Big O notation) that I’d enjoyed. I’d also heard that both NUS and NTU had good CS programs. CS it was.

The rest of the story is straightforward. I got into one US college (Cornell University), but to my immense disappointment, they didn’t offer me any financial aid/scholarship. I did well enough in the IIT exams to get in, but not well enough⁷ to get anything I wanted. On the other hand, I got into both NUS and NTU. I did consider going to IIT,⁸ but when I did my research about the colleges in Singapore, I was impressed. Finally, I learnt that I could take classes outside my major in Singapore, and that sealed the deal for me. I ended up picking NUS.

In the month long holiday before college that followed, I often considered switching my major to physics. I ultimately decided to try out CS, and to switch to physics if I didn’t like it. In my first semester, I took CS1101S, an introductory programming class based on SICP, after which I never looked back.

Reflections

The first thing that stands out is how arbitrarily one of my most important life decisions was taken. I decided, on a whim, to study CS in the span of 5 minutes. Had I *heard good things*, or done my homework about NUS' physics program, I may have picked physics. Had I applied to some safeties in the US, I may have ended up in the US. I consider myself a (mostly) rational person, but I’m guilty of some bad decision making here.

The other thing that stands out is how much of a role chance played in all this. Had I not messed up the IISc entrance exam, I might have studied there. Had my parents not convinced me about applying to Singapore, I wouldn’t have applied. Had I gotten one more question correct in the IIT exam, I may have ended up at IIT.⁹ Had the 11th grade Indian CS curriculum not included Big O notation, I may not have picked CS. It’s humbling to think about how much of your life (and your success) boils down to luck.

There’s a saying that if you put your feet on two boats, you’ll sink. To prepare for US college admissions, I spent my time writing essays and participating in extracurricular competitions. To prepare for the entrance examinations I spent my time solving a lot of problems. In hindsight, I would’ve been better off if I’d picked one goal and focused solely on it. It’s a lesson I carried with me. On the bright side, the problem solving foundations I developed while preparing for the examinations served me well as a CS student in college.

Finally, the obvious question, how did it turn out? I’ll never know the counterfactuals, but it doesn’t matter. I enjoyed my time at NUS. CS turned out to be interesting (and financially lucrative), and the skills I’ve developed have opened the doors to a world of possibilities I had no idea about in high school. I also took classes in a wide variety of subjects.¹⁰ In addition, living in Singapore was an eye opener. As a child, I idealised the West and the US in particular, and I suspect this is why I wasn’t enthusiastic about Singapore. Going there changed that.¹¹ Lastly, I have a much better understanding of South East and East Asian culture, something that has served me well even after moving to the US.

In short, I’d say it turned out well,¹² and I probably shouldn’t have been as stressed as I was in high school. As a good friend once said, “things always work out, but until they do, good luck”.